My Top 5

I've been trying out this mom-thing for three weeks now, and everyone keeps asking how it is going.  I guess most frequently it is phrased, "And don't you just love it?"  The quick and simple answer is ABSOLUTELY.  Here's a list of my top five favorite things and lessons I've learned so far about being Briony's mom.

1.  Briony's squeals and squeaks warm my heart.  I had always been told that newborns are noisy, and I guess I just assumed it was their cry that was loud.  I wasn't totally wrong, as Briony's cry certainly gets stronger every day and recently started to be accompanied by full fledged tears.  However, she makes so many other sounds, too.  Sometimes she lets out high pitched squeals, and other sounds are more of the grunt and snort variety.  She even has one that sounds a little like Donald Duck.  Mostly she makes noise while she is sleeping, but occasionally she'll do it while she is awake and then I can really imagine she is trying to tell me something.  

2.  Story time started when Briony was in utero, but I always felt a little funny reading out loud to an empty room and my bump.  Now, we read to her as part of our bedtime routine.  The first few weeks it still felt a little silly because she was usually sleeping, but now she has been a little more alert.  It is pretty awesome to look down and see her beautiful blue eyes watching me and listening carefully.  I never realized before how intently a newborn listens to everything around them.  I can hardly wait until she starts interacting a little more and we can look at pictures and laugh at the story lines together.

3.  The most valuable lesson so far has been learning to embrace and conform to Briony's schedule.  At first, all I wanted to do was sit and stare at her and hold her.  Then I wanted her to be more awake and start doing things.  I found that I would get impatient when she didn't eat at the times I thought she should or she slept longer/shorter than I had anticipated.  I found it hard to get anything done because I was waiting for her next move.  Now, I am a lot better at working within Briony's schedule and not my own.  I seize moments when she's asleep, and drop everything when it is time to eat.  I have always been a firm believer that our bodies tell us what we need and when.  However, the first week or two I wanted a routine so badly and I got frustrated when there wasn't one.  I am realizing, in hindsight, my focus was wrong.  I tried to work Briony into my routine and not vice versa.  Once I started paying better attention to her body's routine I found that everything went a little more smoothly, and there is a little more normalcy in our day.  Changing my viewpoint a little and working my to do list around Briony's actually means I get more done, and we're all a little happier.

4.  I have a mixed relationship with middle of the night feedings, but ultimately I secretly enjoy them.  I am admittedly a little slow to get out of bed at 4 am when Briony starts to cry.  However, after taking the short 20 step walk to her room and cozying up in the chair in her nursery all sleep deprivation is forgotten.  My little newborn is starting to turn into a chunk.  It is incredibly satisfying (and admittedly cheesy) to know that I am able to nourish her and that she is thriving.  Her cute round belly, plump thighs and never ending pile of diapers are all evidence of a healthy, thriving baby and it totally makes night feedings worth it.  It also helps that after a full belly, she falls right back to sleep and so do I!

5.  I am 100% head over heels in love with her smile that is to come.  In my first job as a nurse, I had the occasional opportunity to work post-partum.  During that time I was surprised to find out that while babies may form a smile as newborns, it is usually associated with gas and other bodily functions and not actually the emotion of being happy.  Like everything else, babies have to learn that.  As a parent it is hard not to get excited when I see that cute little smile spread across her face, but when it is inevitably followed by flatus I know it isn't the real thing yet.  Let me tell you though, when she starts smiling for real, it will be the best smile I've ever seen in my life!  I am especially excited because I am pretty sure she is going to have her dad's adorable crooked little half smile that I love.  After all, isn't two of a good thing better than one?! 

6.  I had to throw in one more, consider it a bonus.  Briony loves bath time and so do I.  It is too bad that newborns only need to be bathed 1 or 2 times a week.  It is so fun to put her in that water and watch her uncurl.  Her whole body relaxes in the tub, her eyes get wide and I think she thinks she's back in my womb.  I also love the smell of baby soap and shampoo... 

There are of course many other things that I love about being my daughter's mom, and like Briony I am learning new things daily.  I still look at her in wonderment when I realize she is half me and half Nick.  I love that at the end of the day she is 100% ours and no one knows her better than Nick and I.  As scary as the responsibility is to be a parent, I still wouldn't trade it for anything!